Everyday Heroes- learning how to cope and heal ( it’s ok to take the cape off sometimes)
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)
Have you suffered from irritability, unable to concentrate, having memory problems, mood swings, thinking about negative things all the time, emotional outbursts, indecisiveness and lack of sense of humor? Other symptoms are muscle tension, unexplained rashes or skin irritations, sweating when not physically active, “butterflies” in stomach, unable to sleep or excessive sleep and shortness of breath. You may be suffering from superwoman syndrome or strong black woman syndrome. I know because I suffer from it from time to time. You try to be everything to everyone, try to be perfect and pleasing to everyone. It can also is linked to lupus, birth outcomes, obesity, and untreated depression. Learning how to cope and deal with stress is a key to be free of its effects.
The characteristics of this “syndrome” are obligated to manifested strength, suppress emotions, resistance to being vulnerable or dependent, determined to succeed despite limited resources and obligated to help others. It has benefits like preservation of self and family or community.However the liabilities are relationship strain, stress-related health behaviors and stress embodiment.
Superwoman don’t like to be average (like anyone wants to average). So she excels at one thing and wants to excel at another (nothing wrong with that). When you don’t reach excellence in another area self-worth is destroyed because we place our worth in what we do and not who Christ is. However some put their self-worth is in their achievements, being productive and not in God.
We were taught to be strong but we are human, If you cut me, I bleed. Black woman are portrayed very heroic but at the same time not allowed to show any sign of weakness. Many black people suffer in silence, in depression even commit suicide. From the stereotypes of black women in the past, society depicts us in a negative light however God sees us as his daughters.
Tips to heal from and overcome superwoman syndrome
1.Start delegating in different areas of your life
2. Ask for help- not a sign of weakness, sign of wits
3. Practice one form of self-care a day
4. Start saying no.-
Put yourself first ( from the perspective of the superwoman who put everybody else’s needs first (about balance)
Setting boundaries- in life period( every area)
Assertiveness training- learn to express yourself. your thoughts, your feelings, your beliefs, all while respecting the right of others. Assertive behavior can prevent problems that have the potential to create stress.
Support system- build your support system and form effective relationships these people can help and comfort during times of potential stress.
Have a relationship with God- Take time out of your day for prayer and studying the Word. God is a good one to talk to in times of trouble and despair.
Learn to delegate and ask for help- You really don’t have to do everything.
Let go of perfectionism- (It’ s really is impossible to be perfect all the time.
Make the sacrifice -Try to focus on your needs instead of your wants.
Take time out for you-Get your hair done, book a massage, or have a pedicure. Go shopping for a new outfit. Schedule a coffee date with a good friend. The world really will go on while you take a break.
God has given strength to do some things, but he didn’t call any woman to be Superwoman.
Ask yourself” Does God want me to use the gift He has given me for this situation? Pray about it first.